Mark has been so incredibly amazing these last few months. He's fixed me dinner, he's let me endlessly pout and he's even laid out clothes for me to wear when I'm too sad and tired to even think about what I'm wearing. I tell him hourly how great he is and that's not enough.

This has all been extremely overwhelming and heartbreaking. I've had so many personal discussions with dad about things he wants to happen before he ever got sick that I'm scared he will be uncomfortable and miserable when this is all through.

Last Saturday, right after dad was being admitted into the ICU, we were waiting in the waiting room and the doctor came in to get my consent to put dad on a ventilator. He was telling us all these facts and what to expect, etc. and he just paused and asked, "Are you doing all this alone?" and I just started crying. We aren't technically doing this alone, but it sure feels like it at times. I know people don't want to be a burden. I'm tired of hearing the words, "Let me know what I can do." because that means they aren't going to do anything unless i ask. Which isnt something I do.

Anyway, if anyone knows where I can get some luck, let me know.